"You Just Come Across My Mind"

I just was thinking about some things, reminicsing of my single days what I did, how I spent my days and more importantly how I loved myself, how I showed self love.  I can remember most Friday night's hanging with one of my closest girl friends making our weekend stop for our catfish and fried oyster dinner at O'quinn's; stopping by the liquor store to get our drink coming back after cruising downtown by the water reliving events in our lives that got us where we were.  We both had just recently divorced and we knew we couldn't afford to let go and give the power we had over to the situation.  We spent many days laughing, crying feeling like a penny with a hole in  it, listening to Teena Marie, Jill Scott, Stevie Wonder, Donald Byrd and Minnie Ripperton.  For us it clarified that love was not lost but gained or recyled.  You see the lesson through all of the time spent reliving, re-hashing memories is that nothing is ever lost just returned to the original owner.  We became conscious of the fact that we had put love, time, patience, and devotion into everyone and everything but us.  We were shown that we had self love but we had not guarded it selfishly but rather unselfishly.  We had to learn the number one rule all over again, Self Preservation.  Taking care of self comes first, everything else is secondary.  When you learn to love you more than you love another you nurture the essence of who you are, you nurture your spirit and soul and then it is manifest throughout your body.  You begin to smile more, laugh more, see and witness to how beautiful and magnificent we are truly made.  You begin to understand the importance of me time, whether it's through a hot bubble bath/long soak, cleaning your place while playing your favorite jams Maysa, Incognito "Step into my life", sipping your favorite wine just feeling good for know good reason at all! Enjoying a summer breeze blowing through your window or the jazz festival downtown being there feeling every detail that's going on and enjoying it, truly enjoying you loving you.  That's what's up. Finally you play your last song for the day " I forgive You"  Rachelle Farrell and then you know: get busy loving you, forgiveness has been granted for placing everyone, everybody and everything before you.  The only significant one that comes before you is your heavenly father, everything else must take a back seat kids included cause get this, if you really think you could love them and nurture them without first loving you and nurturing you, not only are you doing self disservice but you are truly depriving them of a beautiful mom, wife and friend who knows the importance of self love.  I can only be  to you what I first am to myself.  So as I end this journey of reminiscing, I urge you to reflect, soul search and if you have been found guilty of this charge, pay your debt for your freedom of self love, self respect, self assurance, self awarenes, self reliance and finally self esteem.  I hope we all take note that the more we get in tune with the spirit within we will leave the spirit of doubt outside.  So get ready, party first with yourself and then you will party better with others.  The challenge for the summer is to get to know yourself, what you like, your talents or gifts, who you are and what you are about. Most importantly, don't be afraid to be alone.  It is when we are alone we are quiet, inquisitive about self, reflective, open and visited by the presence of the holy spirit.
Remember,
Travel lite,Travel free,Travel true
Be Well
April Ray
(c) 2009